LuSm Revised thesis statement with three points

In Mark Zusak’s, The Book Thief-different characters express their feelings
many different ways, some ways are more productive than other towards the end
of the book when times get bad.

Liesel’s way of expressing her feelings is by reading or
writing. With her when she is reading or writing it gives her the time to get
away from the troubles and do her own thing.

Hans Hubermann also has a way of escaping from life and that is
when he is playing his accordion. When he plays, it is like he becomes the accordion
and nothing matters to him.

When Frau Holtzpfel is in a bad situation, unlike Liesel and
Hans, Frau doesn’t have any way to escape from it. All she really is worried about
is her sons. Then she put herself in other people’s shoes and fells bad for
them and their losses.

5 thoughts on “LuSm Revised thesis statement with three points

  1. PROOFREAD. In your second point i don’t think you need the Hans also has a way of escaping you can just say, “Hans escapes,” and then go on with your point. I think in your third point can be more succinct i think that you should say, ” Frau Holtzpfel cannot express her emotions so she lets other peoples emotions distract her.” I think that all your points are good and they support your thesis i just think that if you make your points more succinct then your five paragraph would be even better.

  2. You need to proof read. These are powerful points, however, the third point needs some work. You say that Frau Holtzepfel puts herself in other people’s shoes and feels bad for their losses. You need to show us how she feels bad for their losses.

  3. I agree with Cedar that you need to reword one or two of your points to be more succinct in order to make them more powerful. Also, I don’t think that Hans uses the accordion to escape from life, but to enjoy it instead because he is able to express his emotions and connect with his friends and family. Otherwise, great job!

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